The Tradwife Craze: An Inside Look (Part 2)

On Feminism and Gender Roles + A special offer in celebration of my birthday!

“The Tradwife Craze Is About Envy

tradwives aren't about patriarchy, white supremacy, sexual fetishism, or indoctrination — it's about women staying home, a luxury most can't afford” -Title to River Page’s post

The moment I opened this post by

River Page

at

Pirate Wires

last week, I began thinking about my response (which is broken into two posts to keep it manageable). Last week, I wrote about luxury and whether or not being a stay-at-home parent counted as one or not. You can read my full opinion here. The takeaway was: 

"So while I would not classify being a stay-at-home parent as a luxury, I would classify it as a gift that benefits not just me but our whole family. What’s the difference between a luxury and a gift? While luxury is unnecessary, perhaps even frivolous, a true gift takes planning, thought, and intention. It is given with purpose at a cost to the giver.

My husband gifts his time to provide for his family (as well as completing the long list of to-dos I regularly craft for him). I gift my time in the form of keeping our home running and raising our children. We each have our roles to fill and sacrifices to make to live this lifestyle."

In Part 2 of this inside look into Tradwifery, I'd like to share my opinions on traditional gender roles and feminism. 

Feminism

"Feminism" was originally coined by French philosopher, Charles Fourier, in 1837. He used the word to mean "Feminine qualities or character." Since then, we've taken this word and armed it. Feminine qualities are no longer thought of as solely soft and nurturing. Often, we've taken it so far to the other side that we've forgotten or refused to acknowledge that it can mean soft and nurturing. 

It used to be that women who worked outside of the home were looked down on, but then, the pendulum swung the other way. Women who stayed home to raise families, in a traditional role, were looked down on. Any stay-at-home parent who's ever answered the inevitable question of, "What do you do for work," with the response, "I'm just a stay-at-home mom," (emphasis on the "just") can attest to this pendulum swing. 

The Tradwife craze actually gives me some hope that perhaps we're approaching a happy medium in the arc of the pendulum swing. Maybe, just maybe, we're working toward a new feminism. One that encompasses both sides of the spectrum. One that allows women who want/need to work to have equitable incomes and opportunities, but also makes room for those who are able and have the desire to stay home to do so without feeling like they're second-class citizens in the movement. Not everyone wants to have a career outside the home. It's time to acknowledge that and accept that the desire to stay home and be a homemaker is as valid, acceptable, and important as someone choosing a career. 

Gender Roles

Tradwife families follow traditional gender roles. The man is the primary provider, while the woman is the primary homemaker. These traditional roles have been practiced since the beginning of humankind and will continue, to one degree or another, until the end of humankind. 

There is nothing wrong with that. Just as there is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to go to work while her husband becomes a stay-at-home parent or both parents needing to work. As it turns out, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to raising a family.

Is the work split equally between the husband and wife who follow traditional gender roles? No, but it is split equitably. What's the difference? See the cartoon:

My husband and I each have different roles to fill. We help each other when and where we can. Sometimes the load may fall more heavily on me (think pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding), while other times it may fall more heavily on him (think having to work oodles of overtime to cover some cost). Aside from that, we each have our talents, strengths, and weaknesses, and we arrange our tasks accordingly. 

The important part is that neither of us feels put upon. We each embrace our roles in all their benefits and hardships. This lifestyle is not always easy and requires sacrifice on both sides, but because we have the same understanding- that this is the best thing for our family- we make those sacrifices willingly. 

In Conclusion

The Tradwife craze is not for everyone. It is merely one option of many in how to raise a family. While it may no longer be the norm, as it once was, it deserves to be seen with respect and as an option worth protecting. As with any family, or organization for that matter, roles are determined, and each partner fulfills their duties. The more happily these roles are fulfilled, the happier the workplace will be, or in this case, the family. This happiness and balance in the family are easier to achieve when roles are divided equitably. This current Tradwife craze gives me hope that perhaps the feminist movement is making room for women to pursue any future, even one that is traditional. 

I’m curious— what are your thoughts on the Tradwife trend, feminism, and/or gender roles?

---

If you enjoyed this post, please consider hitting the ❤️ button and sharing it with everyone you know. Your likes, shares and comments not only make my day, they also help more people discover The Splendid Mess. Thank you!

---